CHRISTMAS RULES

Rules at Christmas?

A Christmas Carol’s (Charles Dickens) image of Christmas may have shaped our culture of the festive season in many ways. Yet we have swapped one kind of Scrooge for another. Instead of the miserly feeling being an external old and lonely man, many people have internalized a sense of “should not”, “can’t” or “not good” that can really play out over the Christmas holidays. 

While Christmas, and the festive season in general, has the appearance of opulence and generosity, or even over-indulgence, I see in clinic that many people attach Christmas to restriction and a fear of “letting go”. 

There is a difference between: 

Eating, drinking, shopping in a free & calm manner 

Vs

Over-indulging on everything and anything at all times

In clinic, I see the following examples of unhelpful restricting & rule-based behaviour:

1.      I used to have an eating disorder and even though I am recovered, or much improved now, I still return to old habits in my family home.

2.      I believe that, in this short period of my life, eating, drinking and behaving different will have a significant impact on my health, fitness or body. 

3.      I should “indulge” as much as I can during Christmas, because from 2nd January I am going to do a new diet/fitness regime/ join the gym/ get a personal trainer/ do the Zoe scheme etc....

4.      Family and friends remind me that I should “be careful” because of my weight or health or behaviour.

5.      If I have “over-indulged” at one party I should restrict the next day and I always feel ashamed or guilty.

6.      I should be a delicate or careful eater in front of my boss, work colleagues, aunties or in-laws or parents 

7.      I don’t want to be seen as the one who gets too drunk or eats too much.

8.      I should go to Boxing Day yoga class, meditation, buy new gym clothes of a certain size.

In none of these rule-based-thought-processes does one connect to one’s needs, taste, wants, culture or body-as-a-whole. In fact, the opposite is true: fully engaging in rule-based thoughts is highly likely to result in restricting/ bingeing/ overindulging/ behaving in any kind of harmful way towards oneself.

At Breaking The Rules, we encourage our clients to tune into what they actually want over Christmas, without judgement. And to notice unhelpful rule-based thinking that gets in the way of meeting those desires and having a fun, relaxing, calm time.