Common Fears When Working Towards Breaking the Restrict-Binge-Purge Cycle
Working to move away from a restrict-binge-purge cycle can be overwhelming. There are so many complex and interwoven physical and emotional issues to challenge and conquer. However, being aware of the fears and engaging with them puts you in a strong position to work on them and move forward.
As always, we recommend doing this work with a therapist, doctor and possibly a nutritional therapist who has plenty of experience working with eating disorders.
To restrict is to purposefully limit things like eating, drinking, shopping, self -
care or other forms of pleasure and care. Restriction also involves being more
rule-based with food. Even if you are meeting your nutritional requirements, if there are still unhelpful rules dictating your choices – you are restricting.
To binge is to consume food, drink, alcohol, shopping, or drugs in a disconnected, fast and extreme manner. Binges can be of any volume and on any kind of food. While screens can play an unhelpful role in binging behaviour, increasingly people use the word “binge” to describe normal behaviour such as watching TV. This can be an unhelpful association. Binging is a particular expression of mental distress. Watching many TV programmes in a calm way because you are enjoying yourself is not often related to mental health issues.
To purge is to try and expel from the body. The getting-rid-of thing may be food, drink, weight or similar. Vomiting, abusing laxatives or diuretics and overexercising are all common ways of purging. However, restriction, in all its forms, is another way to purge.
Common concerns that my clients face when trying to break away from a restrict-binge-purge cycle:
Fearing Normal Eating
Eating in a disordered manner involves constantly engaging in and reapplying
rules that do not suit your physical or emotional needs. This system of eating
perpetuates the eating disorder philosophy that the body cannot be trusted and
needs to be managed.
With good body-connection and body-trust work, one can learn that the body is perfectly capable of managing its needs without external rules and regulations.
Fearing Fear Foods
Eating issues, as well as wider distorted “wellbeing” culture, tells us that we
need to fear many foods. Engaging in the idea that some foods (as well as drinks) are dangerous can make one think that consuming these foods and drinks will lead to a tirade of difficulty, including: weight issues, skin issues, ill health, guilt, shame and more. In fact there is never a food to be feared. All foods offer something important and of value. If one is eating according to the body’s needs and pleasures then food is nothing to be feared.
Fearing a Full and Generous Kitchen
Critical disordered thoughts tell us that when confronted with a full and generous kitchen, full of delicious foods - or if allowed to order what you want from a menu - then your body will just demand more and more. You will eat the whole supermarket of these foods. Your body will not be able to manage the uncontrolled portions, or a well-stocked kitchen, or a weekly supermarket order. As a consequence it is common to limit the food available, by having a sparse kitchen, only going to certain restaurants and only buying food for specific planned meals.
However, this critical understanding of what is going on is usually due to:
A desire to still restrict – e.g. “a portion is 2 biscuits and if I eat 3 then I have ruined it, so I might as well eat everything”
Restricting in and of itself: if you restrict the foods that the pleasure side of you needs and your nutritional needs demand, then these foods are going to have a stronger allure than they should – this encourages over consumption especially if you tell yourself “I must NEVER do this again”.
However, feeling confident that if eaten in a calm manner with positivity and eaten regularly, the body will want but not obsess about the restricted foods, will open doors to a whole new way of understanding food and the body.
Fearing Body Changes
Bodies need to be the size they were born to be. Diet culture tells us that we are able, allowed and even it is encouraged to manipulate this (and often for the observer’s eye). Diet culture can come up with all kinds of excuses to engage in this message – often using terms such as “health” “toxins” “bloating” – but essentially we cannot “beat the system”. Bodies are bodies and we are lucky to have them.
Fearing Not Having an Avenue to “Deal” with Complex Emotions and Feelings
Restricting, binging and purging smothers feelings. However, all feelings have a purpose and value. Comments like: “you are too sensitive”, “don’t be angry”, “there is nothing to worry about” tell us that feelings are problematic.
In fact, all feelings have a role. Talking to a therapist will help you explore, value and manage all feelings so you don’t need behaviours to suppress them.